When You Fall Into a Pit Pit

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Hey, my friend. It was just a few weeks ago that my pastor used a phrase in his sermon that has stuck with me. He was reminding us that when a word is repeated in the Bible, it demonstrates the superlative sense, as in the best of the best. Something’s not just good, it’s very good.

Or when a word is repeated, it means emphasis. Like when Jesus uses Martha’s name twice. “Martha, Martha.” Or “Truly, truly.”

Or, it could also signal totality. One of the examples he used was the word pit, from Genesis 14:10. He said if you fall into a pit, you can likely get yourself out. It’s not that deep, not too steep. Just climb out. Not a big deal.

But if you fall into a pit pit, like the kings in Genesis 14:10 did, or if you get thrown into one like Joseph was later on in Genesis 37, you’re going to need some help getting out. You can’t do it on your own. It’s too deep.

And when I heard that phrase, pit pit, it gave me language for something I think many of us can relate to.

So today, I want to talk about the difference between being in a pit… and being in a pit pit.

Not so we can label ourselves. Not so we can rush to fix anything. But so we can respond to ourselves with more honesty—and more care.

The Difference Between a Pit and a Pit Pit

So let’s talk a little bit more about the difference between a pit and a pit pit.

A pit is a hard season. It’s painful, disorienting, uncomfortable. But there’s still movement. There’s still air. There’s still a sense—however faint—that you can climb out with time, prayer, reflection, support.

A pit pit feels different. A pit pit is when:

• You feel stuck instead of slowed
• You’re going in circles instead of forward
• You’ve tried journaling, praying, “doing the right things”… and nothing seems to shift

And often, the hardest part of a pit pit isn’t the pain itself. It’s the quiet belief that you should be able to get yourself out.

Why We Assume We Should Be Able to Handle It Alone

Now, many of us—especially in faith spaces—have learned that strength looks like endurance. Positivity. Gratitude. “Taking things to God” and not needing much else. We’ve developed this independent spirit, telling ourselves that we can handle it on our own, that we don’t need help from others.

Journaling and prayer can be beautiful tools. Maybe they work for a little while. But sometimes, without realizing it, we turn them into proof that we’re “doing okay.”

And when they stop working the way they used to, shame creeps in. Why isn’t this helping anymore? What am I doing wrong? Why am I still here?

Signs You Might Be in a Pit (Not a Pit Pit)

So which one might you be in—a pit or a pit pit? Again, this isn’t a test. Just noticing.

A pit often feels like:

• You’re tired, but still hopeful
• Emotional, but able to recover
• Journaling feels tender but relieving
• You can take in encouragement, even if slowly
• You might not enjoy the season—but you can still breathe inside it

Signs You Might Be in a Pit Pit

Meanwhile, a pit pit often feels like:

• Emotional numbness or overwhelm
• Anxiety that doesn’t settle
• Journaling feels intimidating or avoidant
• You’re circling the same thoughts with no relief
• You feel alone—even when you’re not

And here’s the important part: None of that means you’re failing.

Journal Prompt

So take a moment and, either mentally or on a piece of paper, create two columns. List some of your pit experiences on the left side of the page, and list some of your pit pit experiences on the right. There’s no need to do anything more. Just name them.

Why a Pit Pit Requires More Than Personal Effort

Friend, remember: a pit pit isn’t something you climb out of by trying harder. It’s something you move through with support.

That support might look like counseling, spiritual direction, a trusted friend who knows how to listen, or a community that can hold hope when you can’t.

Needing help is not a lack of faith. It’s often an act of wisdom. Scripture is full of people who didn’t heal in isolation. I mean, just think about the paralyzed man in Mark 2. He needed his friends to carry him to Jesus. He couldn’t do it on his own.

Or the father of the boy who was demon-possessed in Matthew 17. Or the Gentile mother of a girl who was also demon-possessed in Matthew 15. Both parents pleaded for their children’s healing.

Even blind Bartimaeus needed people to point him toward Jesus when Jesus called for him.

So who are we to think that we don’t need some help, too?

When Journaling Isn’t the Way Out—But a Way to Notice

Now, journaling can be helpful. But sometimes journaling isn’t the ladder out of the pit pit. Sometimes it’s the flashlight. It helps you notice:

• What’s still affecting you
• What’s asking for more care
• What’s beyond what you can hold alone

And that noticing matters. Because you can’t respond to what you won’t acknowledge.

A Gentle Self-Reflection

If you’re unsure whether you’re in a pit or a pit pit—or if you just feel unsettled and don’t know why—I created a gentle self-assessment called Is This Still Affecting Me?

It’s not a diagnosis. It doesn’t tell you what to do next.

It simply helps you notice—without judgment—what might still be weighing on you. You can find it at lovedoesthat.org/stillaffecting.

And if you’re in a pit pit, I want you to hear this clearly:

You are not weak.
You are not behind.
You are not failing at healing.

You may simply be in a place that was never meant to be navigated alone.

I pray that God would show you who might come alongside you in this season. Because, my friend, you don’t belong in a pit pit. That’s not where God wants you to live. I pray He would show you the way out.

RELATED EPISODES:

• Episode 189: When Healing Takes Longer Than You Hoped
• Episode 135: Identifying Signs You’re Not Doing Well (And What You Can Do About It)
• Episode 49: Finding Your Stretcher Bearers: The People Who Can Help Carry You Through a Difficult Season
• Episode 51: Who Can I Trust? Distinguishing Between Safe and Unsafe People When You Need Help

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