When Life Changes, Re-evaluate

Isn’t it funny how, once you get settled into a good routine, something will change that makes it out of whack?

Your child finally starts sleeping through the night, but then they start waking up super early. Or you dedicated nights for your quiet time, but then your teenager decides to use that time to chat with you before bed. Or you theme out your work days, only to have appointments or sports or something interfere. And so you go back to the drawing board to modify your routine and make it work for you.

Not everything in life requires a major change. Sometimes it’s just changing something simple, something small. But sometimes it is, indeed, bigger than you anticipated, and you have to adjust what you are doing.

We’ve been going through some more life changes recently, and today I wanted to share a few of those with you, as well as how I’ve been re-evaluating what that means for me.

Personal Life Changes

Okay, so in April of 2022, I shared an episode called “When Seasons Change and You Have to Make Adjustments.” We found ourselves contemplating a pretty big decision in our lives, something that would change a lot of how we do things.

What was that? It was the decision to homeschool our kids. This decision was based on our values and priorities, and it impacted not just our family relationships, but also the amount and type of work I was able to do. Instead of having both kids in school and being able to work during those school hours, I now have the kids home with me. It has been a great decision, not without its own struggles to work through, but definitely positive overall.

Well, my friend, we are in another season of change. Multiple changes, in fact.

• My husband changed jobs about 18 months ago.
• I’ve put some more time and energy into my proofreading work.
• Our pastor recently retired and I’m on the transition team to find the next one.
• Our son is starting to take classes and participate in sports.

How I’m Re-evaluating

Each one of these things has impacted the way we do life. And even though I’ve been adjusting as we go, I’m finding myself feeling the invitation to really sit down with God and talk about things I need to do or keep in mind.

For example, my own work situation. I only have so many hours in the week dedicated to work, and I need to discern how to spend those hours. And because of some of the changes we’ve been through, my work looks different now than it did two years ago.

To be honest, proofreading is my primary work right now and what I do here with Love Does That is more of an outreach, a ministry, a place where I serve. It feels strange, when four years ago, God called me to go “all in” with Love Does That, yet now, I feel released from that.

Or, for another example, my current involvement at church. I was already serving as a Sunday school teacher and on the worship team (which, when I say that, I mean I help with the worship services, not that I lead any music).

But with our pastor retiring, I felt the call to step up and help however I could. After all, I have about twelve years of professional ministry experience working in churches, and I love to take notes and plan things and keep things organized. I want to serve my church in this way, during this transition period.

Yet that also means I have to take a step back in other things, at least temporarily, and I’m not sure what that looks like yet.

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How Mindset Makes a Difference

And what I’ve noticed throughout this season is that my mindset, or the way I look at these changes, makes a big difference in how I approach it. I understand that not all changes are good, nor are they desired.

But instead of being disgruntled or bitter about it, I’ve learned that if I can focus on how God is with me through it all, if I can think about the blessings I receive through it, if I can name ways I am growing through it… that all helps me.

So I can ask questions like:

• How is God using this to transform me more into His image?
• How might God be using this to show His glory to those around me?
• What parts do I need to grieve together with God?
• What parts can I celebrate?

For me, personally, I’m not a big fan of changes that I am not in control of. Do you relate? It’s all fine and dandy if I decide I want to eat healthier and exercise more, but if a doctor tells me I have to, I seem to resist it. It’s my own little rebellion.

Or if we’ve done something the same way for years, and suddenly someone changes it in a way that seems abrupt, I can really struggle with that. And I’ve had to learn to surrender and yield and trust that God is working through that.

Supports Through Change

I don’t know what kind of change you might be going through, my friend, whether big or small. But when something is especially difficult, I’ve learned to identify things that can support me through a change or difficult season.

Here are a few of them:

• Shifting my “consumption.” Something that really makes a big difference is what I “consume” as far as podcasts and books. I’ve really cut back on the number of podcasts I’m listening to right now because sometimes, it can feel overwhelming. I like to think deeply and reflect on things, and when I put too much information into my mind, I don’t have the chance to process it like I want to. And so I’ve returned to more reading and audio books in this season, especially of stories and biographies.
  
  
• Quiet time. If you’ve listened for any length of time, you know I’m a pretty big introvert. When I’m going through a season of change, it is especially important that I protect at least a little bit of time each day to be alone, either reading the Bible or praying or just “being,” you know? Without this, I can quickly get overwhelmed or frustrated.
  
  
• Quality time with family. When things change, it is so important for me to make sure I am spending quality time with my immediate family, namely my husband and kids. This looks like having time together all as a family, playing board games or doing something we enjoy, but it also looks like trying to get one-on-one time with each person, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.
  
  
• Worship music. And one more thing that helps me keep my heart and mind centered during a big life change is worship music. I’ve been turning to the acoustic worship sessions that Garett and Kate Serban have been releasing. They are about an hour long and really help me lean into the Lord and worship Him and praise Him, no matter what is going on.

Journal Prompt: What part about change is the hardest for me?

There is no doubt that change is hard. I want to invite you to name the hard parts. In fact, that’s your journal prompt this week: What part about change is the hardest for me?

Some people actually like change overall. But even if you like change, there’s still something that is hard about it. What is that for you?

Is it not knowing what is coming next?

Is it walking into a place for the first time?

Is it feeling like you’re starting over?

What comes up for you? Write about it and see where that leads. And then, if you’re able, explore some things that might help you through that part of the change.

More Support through Change

If you’d like more questions to journal through, I’d love to offer you my journal prompts for seasons of change and transition. These thirteen questions are designed to help you name both the good and the bad, the practical and the emotional, as you process the change you are going through. You can grab those at lovedoesthat.org/seasonsofchange.

And if you want to hear more episodes related to seasons of change, I’ve linked to some in the show notes below.

And really, if you’d like some personal support navigating a life change or transition, someone who can pray with you and help you discern what God is saying to you, I hope you’ll email me. You can reach me at kari@lovedoesthat.org.

Prayer

To end, I want to share with you the Serenity Prayer. Most people only know the first part of it, but I want to read the full prayer with you. It was written by Reinhold Niebuhr and goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next. 
Amen.

RELATED EPISODES + RESOURCES:

• Episode 103: 6 Strategies to Manage Overwhelm, Stress, and Change
• Episode 60: When Seasons Change and You Have to Make Adjustments
• Episode 24: An Example in Spiritual Discernment and Decision Making: Going “All In” With Love Does That
• Episode 77: Three Prayers for Discernment: Making Difficult Choices in Difficult Seasons

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