[Written Spiritual Direction Session] Standing Stones: Stories of God’s Faithfulness

Have you ever wondered what it was like to experience a spiritual direction session? What happens? What do you talk about?

While some coaches will air live coaching sessions, I can’t very well do that, for two different reasons. One, I don’t do live spiritual direction sessions, since I focus on written spiritual direction. And two, spiritual direction is often deeply personal, and many women would hesitate to air that in front of an audience.

But I still want to help you get a glimpse of what written spiritual direction can look like. So today, I am going to share with you some letters that a client and I have written to each other. And when I say “letters,” I mean emails, the modern-day equivalent of letters.

Now, Cindy has graciously given me permission to share these, and to use her real name, because she has experienced the power of spiritual direction in written form, and she is passionate about helping others experience that, too.

For context, Cindy and I have been working together for two years now, and this specific exchange took place a few months after we started. It also happened to be around the Easter season, so you’ll hear us reference Holy Week and Easter.

We talk about a few different things: (1) her willingness to say yes to God’s invitations and callings, despite what she feels are limitations, (2) the value of both individual and communal faith, and (3) bearing witness to God’s faithfulness in our lives.

Again, this is just one sample. Every client and I establish our own routine and rhythm in writing back and forth. We develop our own relationship and conversational style. Some write long letters, some write short ones. It all just depends. So view this as a sample, a taste, of what a written spiritual direction has looked like for Cindy.

I invite you to pay attention to anything that it stirs up in you: any questions, any desires, any beliefs. Write those down in your journal and talk about them with God. Okay?

So here we go, let’s take a peek at what written spiritual direction can look like.

First Letter from Cindy:

Kari,

I was talking to God about how I want my eyes and ears to be wide awake to see and hear Him through other people and receive more fully. What I have become aware of is that I have more of a struggle in allowing blessing words of others to penetrate deeply. If people pay me a compliment, I quickly change subjects, or say thank you, but do not receive it in gratitude fully. So, I have been trying to just stop, and say thank you, and hear the blessing from the divine…

As I stayed wider open to receive the Holy Week graces by the way of others’ expressions, and in the communal experiences, I felt like my heart received a huge balm of healing in new ways.

Due to my dyslexia, and learning issues, I have tried to compensate by being nice, kind, and a person for others. However, to be encouraged that my gifts God has given could and will be used to touch many is still something I am pondering. I know God can use the smallest of things and coins of life. I love stopping to pick up pennies, as I have often related myself to a penny. All wonderful and beautiful, and in the collection of many, God can do wonders with the small, coming together. I have witnessed this…

In my life there have been times when I have said “yes” to God, and I can see the fruit. These times are often service oriented. But there have been a couple times I have said, “No, God” and the “no” times were directly around my shame and not wanting to be exposed in front of a large number of people as a speaker. I ache at the “no times”…

These are some of the reasons I am drawn to God’s people leaving Egypt and the pillar, and God’s hand that delivers His people, and the standing stones that God asked them to build after they crossed the Jordan river …to remember and tell the generations….so they can praise God and pass the stories along to increase faith.

At times I think the contradictions lie within me. “Cindy, you have been called to spread God’s goodness.” Okay, God, but I like Moses would say, “I can’t talk, write, speak, …who would want to listen to me.”

Lately, something that has come through the mouth of a dear older woman at church, as she has told me her incredible life story of God’s interventions is this: “Everybody has these sacred stories, in their own way, shape, and form, but seldom do people share them.”  

This has helped me understand “special” more. Yes, we each have special graces from God that fit our lives, but often these standing stones, we do not ponder, talk about, or even create. This makes me wonder, Lord, what would it be like, to help other people, the church community, start to share their individual and communal standing stone, the memorial stone God events of their lives?  This highlights the value and need of both “personal and communal faith building.” The divine stories within us, and all around us, are special and they need to be pondered, expressed, as standing stones of praise. They increase our trust in God and our faith.

You talk about joy, and I think my Easter joy is unfolding in sharing with others more, and in the larger community of faith. This is where I have limited my joy over the past years. God is wanting me to return to community more fully….

Even though I have said no to many things due to my own limitations and wounds, I take peace this Easter Season, and joy, that metaphorically, “I have 40 more years left” to say Yes.  CHRIST HAS RISEN, HE HAS RISEN INDEED!

Second Letter from Cindy:

Hi Kari,

I wanted to mention one more thing that was profound after your last email to me. After I prayed about what you said about “special,” I started to become more verbal in expressing what is in my heart to people.

When I did this, what I found was very interesting. Some people received the words and other people deflected or ignored them completely. It reminded me of what I have done in the past with words spoken or written to me. I saw the connection between giving and receiving, and how responding back with gratitude and thanksgiving for the gift of “being seen” is very tough (as a whole, for a lot of people to do). I think being able to give and receive well and mutually is a huge part of joy. Gratitude and joy, I think, go hand in hand. So this awareness has really been eye opening to me.

During Holy Week, when receiving the Eucharist, instead of just saying, “Amen,” I wanted to say, “Amen” with more zest and also show some sign of deep gratitude as Jesus’ body and blood was poured forth for me and the whole world, how really can we say thank you for such an eternal life gift. Maybe living our lives with holy joy and gratitude, and be able to say, “Thank you” to God more and to others, and to notice things more with eyes of gratitude.

And to also receive. I did think about how did Jesus receive, the oil on His head, the washing of His feet. Jesus shows us how to receive as well as how to give. A lot of graces came birthing forth. Praise You, God, and thank you so much, Kari, for journeying with me!

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My Letter to Cindy

My friend,

I am so grateful along with you for the graces God has given you: the honest encouragement you have received from others, the continuation of spiritual groups and relationships, the experiences you have recalled that speak to how God has been present with you and your family throughout the years.

You have also so clearly named where your desire or calling to come alongside those experiencing trauma and death came from. How God has been inviting you to keep taking steps in that direction and show His love and mercy and peace to those who find it harder to discern.

What might it look like for you to share these faith stories of yours? Where does the resistance come from, this belief that you cannot speak, write, teach? What is the cost of your resistance? And what would be the power of your “yes”?

And I love your question: What would it be like to help others share their “standing stone” stories, as well?

You mentioned that you felt you had received a huge balm of healing, and it reminded me how our Lord is referred to as the Balm of Gilead. And I invite you to, as God leads, meditate on that image and name. What does it mean to be a balm? How has He been a balm to you? How might He use you to be a balm for others? What words and images come to mind for you as you ponder these things? What resonates within your soul? What, if any, resistance do you sense rising up? What stories or references in Scripture speak to this idea of God being a balm, a source of healing for others?

You shared some really beautiful questions you are asking about how God is inviting you to move forward. Keep holding those before the Lord. He will show you the path He wants you to take. I will be praying for Him to reveal that to you when His time is right. Keep following the pillar of light. 

Oh, and being able to say “amen” with zest and deep gratitude and joy as we receive from our Lord… yes, my friend. Absolutely yes. What might that look like as we go throughout our days? Such a great question…

So grateful to be on this journey with you, Cindy. I do not take it lightly, but hold it with such honor, delight, and prayer.

Journal Prompts

So there you go, a glimpse into what written spiritual direction can look like. Did you pay attention to what was stirring within you as you listened? Go ahead and write it down, if you haven’t already. That is what you can journal about this week.

What questions did you have? What desires were stirred up within you? Was there anything that resonated with you, or that you had resistance to yourself? Write it down and explore that more fully this week.

Invitation to Written Spiritual Direction

There are a few more episodes where I’ve attempted to share more about what written spiritual direction can look like. You can find those linked in the show notes below.

And, if you’d like to explore written spiritual direction more fully, you can go to lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection and sign up there. Of course, if you have questions, you can always email me at kari@lovedoesthat.org.

I’d love to help you discern if spiritual direction is a good fit for you at this time, or even if written spiritual direction is a good fit for you, or if you would do better with face-to-face spiritual direction—in which case, I can point you toward some other spiritual directors for you to consider.

Prayer

God, I know that I am blessed beyond words that You meet with us not just in face-to-face meetings, but through letters and messages. Thank You for making Your presence known to us and whispering Your words of love and truth. I pray for my friends, that they would be encouraged by this, and that they would have the courage to reach out and seek a mentor or spiritual director if that is a desire of their heart in this season. In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen.

RELATED EPISODES + RESOURCES:

• Episode 33: Written Spiritual Direction: How Letters and Messages Can Create Space for God
• Episode 66: [Written Spiritual Direction Session] Loneliness
• Episode 87: [Written Spiritual Direction] When Temptation Comes Your Way

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