The Best Way to Support Someone Who Is Hurting

Imagine this scenario: Someone you dearly love is hurting. Maybe they are grieving the loss of a loved one or battling the depths of depression. Maybe they’ve lost their sense of purpose or just got a hard diagnosis from the doctor.

What is the best thing you can do for them?

Is it calling them every day? Making them meals? Being willing to sit with them in the quiet? Should you watch their kids? Offer to drive them around? Pick up their groceries?

All of those can be really good things for us to do. They show our love and support in very practical ways.

But what if I said the very best thing you could do was to stay close to Jesus yourself?

This is actually something that Russell Joyce mentioned at the end of our conversation together back in episode 163. And as I’ve thought more about it, I think that he’s right.

So let’s explore some reasons why staying close to Jesus is so important when we are caring for someone who is hurting. And then be sure to stay to the end for a special invitation to dive deeper into this topic with me at a live event coming up next week.

Steady Anchor in a Difficult Situation

There are several reasons why staying close to Jesus is the best thing you can do when you’re trying to support someone who is hurting.

The first is that it serves as a steady anchor in a difficult situation. When things rock our worlds, when we find our feet knocked out from under us, we need something we can rely on. We need Jesus. He is the cornerstone, the firm foundation.

And when we make sure our relationship with Him is solid, it helps support other places in our life that are crumbling around us.

It reminds me of the song “Cornerstone” by Hillsong. Let Jesus be your anchor, your foundation, in the midst of any storms you might face—even when they’re ones your friends are facing.

Keeps You Humble

Another reason to stay close to Jesus is that it will keep you humble. And by this, I mean, it will help you remember your role in caring for your friend.

Because you’re not the Savior, Jesus is! If you are trying to save or rescue your friend from whatever they are going through, that means you are trying to take Jesus’ place.

Instead of trying to save them, be there to walk with them. Listen. Serve. Love. All of those things are good. But remember your place. Know your limitations. And trust God to do what only He can do.

Rely On the Lord for Strength

Staying close to Jesus also helps us to rely on the Lord for strength. Caring for those who are hurting isn’t an easy task. It takes a lot out of us sometimes—physically, emotionally, mentally.

One of the verses I regularly return to is 1 Peter 4:11 (NLT), which says, “Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies.”

You see, we only have so much we can give in and of ourselves. When we serve others, when we care for them in these difficult seasons, we really need to rely on God’s strength, not our own.

Care for Others with HIS Love and Compassion

Similarly, by staying close to Jesus, we are able to care for others with His love and compassion, not trying to summon it up within ourselves. Again, there’s only so much we have to give. And it’s only as we receive love and compassion from Jesus that we’re able to turn around and pour it out on others.

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Fervent in Prayer and Intercession

Finally, when we stay close to Jesus, we’re also invited to remain fervent in prayer and intercession for our friend. We’re regularly lifting them up in prayer, bringing them before God, asking for healing, for help, for peace.

This is because we’re with God so often that it’s only natural that it comes up in our conversations with Him. As we go throughout our day, we can be sensitive to the moments when our friend comes to mind, and rather than turn to worry or fear, we can immediately take that thought and turn it into a prayer. We can intercede on their behalf.

Staying Close to Jesus

So what does it look like to stay close to Jesus as your friend walks through a hard season? There’s no one right way, but here are some ideas to get you started.

First, be sure to stay in the Word. This can look like reading the Bible or listening to it through an audio app. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a lot, but I do think it needs to be intentional, something we make sure we incorporate into our day.

Second, take time to pause. As you go throughout your day, find moments when you can pause activity and simply rest in His presence. For me, this often looks like sitting out in the backyard for a few moments.

Third, pray in any way you can. Prayer can definitely look like quiet time on our knees or sitting in a quiet place, lifting up our worries, concerns, and questions before God. But it can also be praying as we drive somewhere, or as we do dishes, or as we walk out to get the mail. Don’t overlook the power of small prayers scattered throughout your day.

Journal Prompts

Now, I want to offer you some journal prompts to help you explore the importance of staying close to Jesus during these difficult seasons. You are welcome to go through each of them or focus on the 1 or 2 that really resonate with you.

1. What areas of life feel shaky right now? How might anchoring yourself in Christ bring stability?
2. Reflect on a time when you tried to “save” someone. What did you learn from that experience?
3. Where do you sense your own limitations in helping others? How do those boundaries feel?
4. In what ways do you feel drained when you care for someone who is hurting?
5. How have you recently received love or compassion from Jesus?
6. If your relationship with Jesus feels distant, what small step could you take to draw near again?

Let’s Dive Into This Some More

If this is something you want to hear more about, I’d love for you to join me for my session at the Lead Well conference from Small Church Ministry. My session is entitled, “Stay a Little Longer: Making Time With God When the Weight Feels Too Much.”

You see, when ministry feels heavy and the needs don’t stop, it’s tempting to push through and pour out without pausing. But the time you spend with God—in silence, prayer, Scripture, or simply lingering—is not optional. It’s what sustains you.

This session is an invitation to stay a little longer with the One who fills, restores, and strengthens you for what’s next.

You can grab your free ticket to this conference by going to lovedoesthat.org/leadwell. The conference takes place live on Saturday, September 27, and you also have the option to grab the recordings.

Prayer

God, thank You for those who have stayed close to us during difficult seasons of grief, hurt, and hopelessness. We pray that You would help us do the same for those around us. Give us the strength and compassion we need to enter into their hurt with them and let them know how deeply they are loved. We pray these things in Jesus’ name, amen.
to embrace them again and again.

RELATED EPISODES + RESOURCES:

• Lead Well Conference – free ticket (affiliate link)
• Episode 163: Letting God Use Our Wounds: A Conversation with Russell Joyce
• Episode 171: Temptation, Testing, or Fallen World? How to Respond When Life Gets Hard
• Courageous Care book, available on my website or on Amazon

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