The Pressure to Be a “Good Christian”

Hi, my friend. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to start grading yourself spiritually? Maybe you miss a few days of prayer and suddenly you feel like you’re failing. Or you go through a busy season where you barely open your Bible, and this quiet thought creeps in: I should be doing better than this.

Sometimes we don’t say it out loud, but the pressure is there. To pray more. To read more. To be more disciplined. To feel stronger faith than we actually do.

And without realizing it, our relationship with God can start to feel a little like a report card.

Am I doing enough?
Am I faithful enough?
Am I the kind of Christian I’m supposed to be?

But there’s a moment in the Gospel of Luke that quietly challenges that whole mindset.

Trying to Serve Jesus

Jesus is visiting the home of two sisters: Martha and Mary of Bethany. These were some of Jesus’ closest friends, and I love that picture in my mind—that He often went to their house when He was in the area.

I picture this story being early on in their friendship, though I don’t know if that’s true or not. And as Jesus comes to visit, Martha is moving around the house, preparing food and taking care of things. Which honestly makes sense. If Jesus showed up at most of our homes, we’d probably do the same.

But as the preparations pile up, Martha becomes overwhelmed and frustrated. Her sister Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet listening, while Martha is doing all the work.

Finally Martha says something many of us might relate to: “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?”

And Jesus answers her gently: “Martha, Martha… you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is necessary.”

What I find interesting about this moment is that Martha wasn’t doing something wrong. She was trying to serve Jesus. She was trying to do the right thing.

But somewhere along the way, that desire to serve had turned into pressure. Pressure to get everything right. Pressure to carry everything herself. Pressure to prove her devotion through what she was doing.

And Jesus quietly redirects her attention. Not to try harder. Not to organize things better. But to something simpler.

Being with Him.

Performing Our Faith

It’s easy for our faith to slowly shift into something we perform. Not all at once. Usually very quietly.

Maybe it starts with good intentions. You decide you want to be more consistent with prayer. Or read the Bible more regularly. Or wake up earlier to spend time with God before the day begins. Those are beautiful desires. There is nothing wrong with them.

But over time something subtle can happen. Instead of those practices helping us draw near to God, they slowly become the way we measure how we’re doing with Him.

So if you have a good week spiritually—if you pray several mornings in a row, or spend time in Scripture—you feel encouraged.

But if life gets busy… if you miss a few days… if the kids are sick or work is overwhelming and your quiet time disappears for a while…

Suddenly there’s this quiet sense of failure. Like you’ve slipped a little farther away from God. You might even catch yourself thinking things like: I really need to get back on track with God.

Or maybe this has happened to you. You sit down to pray, but the whole time you’re aware of how long it’s been since the last time you prayed. So instead of simply talking with God, you feel like you’re trying to make up for lost time.

Or maybe you open your Bible and realize you don’t feel inspired or moved the way you used to. And instead of simply sitting with the passage, another thought creeps in: What’s wrong with me?

Without realizing it, our relationship with God can start to feel a little like a report card.

Living in Relationship

But faith was never meant to be something we prove to God. It was meant to be a relationship we live inside of.

Think about any close relationship in your life. There are seasons when conversations happen every day, easily and naturally. And there are seasons when life gets busy and those rhythms shift for a while.

But the relationship itself isn’t measured by perfect consistency. It’s built on presence. Trust. Returning again and again.

And in many ways, our relationship with God is similar. He isn’t waiting for us to perform well spiritually before drawing near. He’s simply inviting us to come back into His presence. Again. And again. And again.

One New Practice for Me

One practice I have started recently to help ground my days in prayer is to listen to a prayer podcast in the morning and another one in the evening.

Knowing my perfectionistic tendencies, I know I need to be mindful not to make it into a performance. I don’t want to add it to my Finch to-do list just so I can check it off and complete my goals for the day.

Rather, it’s an intention to draw close. And an invitation to stay close throughout the day. I wonder what this might look like for you.

Journal Prompts

If you’ve been feeling like you’re falling behind spiritually lately, maybe today is an invitation to pause.

You might sit with a couple of questions. You can answer one of them or take time to explore them all.

1. What expectations about my faith am I quietly carrying?
2. Where might I be treating my relationship with God like something I need to perform well?
3. And what would it look like today to simply spend a few moments with God… without trying to get anything right?

Prayer

Lord, You know how easily we place expectations on ourselves that You never asked us to carry. Help us lay down the pressure to perform spiritually. Teach us how to come to You again with open hearts, not striving hearts. And remind us that what You want most is simply for us to be with You. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

RELATED EPISODES:

• Episode 176: My Biggest Tip for Beating Perfectionism in Journaling
• Episode 156: How to Spend the Day in Prayer
• Episode 109: It’s Getting Real: God’s Invitation to Me for the Rest of Lent
• Episode 56: How to Create a Personal Spiritual Retreat (And Reflections on My Own)